The Impossible Knife Of Memory By Laurie Halse Anderson

The Impossible Knife Of Memory
Written By Laurie Halse Anderson
Published in Australia January 2nd 2014
304 Pages
Thank you to Text Publishing 
For the past five years Hayley Kincain and her father, Andy, have been on the road, never staying long in one place as he struggles to escape the demons that have tortured him since his return from Iraq.

Now they are back in town where he grew up so Hayley can go to a proper school. Perhaps, for the first time, Hayley can have a normal life, put aside her own painful memories, even have a relationship with Finn, the hot guy who obviously likes her but is hiding secrets of his own.

Will being back home help Andy's PTSD, or will his terrible memories drag him to the edge of hell, and drugs push him over?

Hayley has never been the new girl before, but since moving back into town with her father after being home schooled on the road, this may just be the fresh start both of them needs. Having lost her mother at a young age, all Hayley has left is her decorated veteran father. A former truck driver that took his only child on the road, Hayley's father suffers from post traumatic stress disorder as a result from joining the war efforts in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He struggles to hold down a job, and his alcoholism only further clouds his judgement. Not only does his illness effect his life, but the debilitating illness is on the verge of destroying Hayley's life as well.

In Hayley's world, you're either a zombie or a freak. When Hayley finds herself panicked, each situation is weighed through three key scenarios, Threat, Assess and Action. After years of listening to her father's traumatic stories of war and heroism, her realism seems to be blurred as well, until she meets Finn. Finn falls into the freak category, he's quirky and seems to like Hayley, even if she struggles with her feelings towards him. But Finn isn't without his secrets and Hayley has never opened up to anyone about what happens behind closed doors at home. But when Finn drives Hayley home, he's about to realise how complicated Hayley's life is.

As her father sinks even further into his illness, Hayley finds herself struggling to breathe. Any hope of moving onto college is fading, being able to have a relationship with Finn is vanishing, and trying to throw her father a lifelife is bringing her down with him. But as Finn shares his secret with Hayley, finally the floodgates have opened. Sharing her story with Finn, from the four tours of duty her father returned from, how he earned his purple heart decoration, the drinking, the fighting and the I.E.D that ultimately damaged his brain. Hayley doesn't remember much about her birth mother, but rather her father's girlfriend Trish. Trish, who Hayley thought was her lifeline, an alcoholic guardian that she had taken to calling her mother... Left Hayley to deal with her father alone. But Trish is back, and Hayley's father is at the end of his rope.

In a battle to sink or swim, Hayley's life is in her father's hands... But how do you help someone who's illness dictates both your lives?

My Thoughts


The Impossible Knife Of Memory depicts the very real and debilitating post traumatic stress disorder. Hayley's father Andy suffers each day as a result of four tours in both Afghanistan and Iraq, numbing the constant pain with alcohol and reliving each vivid detail over and over again. On the surface, it reads as a contemporary young adult novel dealing with what is seen as a mental illness, but watching the storyline unfold is confronting, heartbreaking and will leave you on edge. Through years of seeing the war through her father's eyes, Hayley isn't a well adjusted girl as much as she cares to believe. At home, she walks a fine line between coddling her father and doing what she can to make both their lives easier. Andy won't seek intervention, leaving Hayley to shoulder far more responsibility than any teen girl should need to endure. 

I've never encountered a returned soldier, nor personally know one. I can't imagine any amount of training could prepare anyone for the atrocities of war and sadly it doesn't seem as though PTSD is openly discussed. Seeing Andy's illness from his teen daughter's point of view allows the reader to experience that fine line between sink and swim, and it's confronting to say the least. I spent the majority of the book waiting for what seemed to be the inevitable, I was emotionally spent. Laurie Halse Anderson has created far more than a contemporary teen novel, it's an emotionally charged psychological contemporary novel that will stay with you long after the final page.
 

10 comments

  1. I reckon her books do leave quite an impression on readers. Like "Speak" - though I've yet to read it. I don't know anyone with PTSD, but I do have a friend from the Air Force who's been assigned in Afghanistan. This will definitely be an emotional book to read. :)

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    1. Hey Dre. This is my first Laurie Halse Anderson novel and it left quite an impact. I knew it was going to be an emotional read, but I had no idea how it would knock me about emotionally. She has a simplistic and intelligent way of weaving you into her storyline, incredibly powerful.

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  2. This sounds really good! I don't think I've ever read a YA book with PTSD in it.

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    1. Me either. It was certainly confronting, but unlike most young adult, the author didn't hold back and showed how traumatic PTSD is and how it effects the lives of those around them. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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  3. I've heard so much about this book and Laurie Halse Anderson. This one is definitely going on my list. It sounds really intense and a refreshing change from normal YA. :D

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    1. I think you'll really enjoy this one Laura, it's incredibly realistic and even disturbing at times. It left me feeling quite emotional.

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  4. I think books about PSTD are incredibly interesting. I want to read this one! I like to read about things like these...because I haven't known anyone who's experienced it, and it's kind of interesting to take a peek into other people's lives, right? That's what reading's about. ;)

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    1. Couldn't have said it better myself Cait. I haven't had any experience with PTSD either, but seeing it through the eyes of Hayley gives you a glimpse of the trauma, the nerves and confrontation that comes with living with a mental illness each day. She's so young to shoulder the responsibility herself. Can't wait to see your thoughts on this one when you get around to it.

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  5. Wow, I have heard a lot about this book and how awesome it is. But it sounds super similar to the premise of another book I recently read also about a returning soldier and PTSD. Actually I've read a lot of books dealing with that subject recently, so think I need to give it a break first. Lovely review Kelly!

    Jeann @ Happy Indulgence

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    1. Thanks Jeann, and thanks for popping by. I haven't encountered any young adult books that feature PTSD before, but I've seen a few new adult books that feature returning soldiers, so I'm assuming it's probably integrated into the storyline. For a young adult novels, The Impossible Knife of Memory is confronting and doesn't dumb down the storyline for teens, which really is a unique quality that most authors don't seem to share.

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