I Was Here by Gayle Forman


I Was Here
Written By Gayle Forman
Contemporary, Realistic Fiction
Expected Publication January 2015
352 Pages
Cody and Meg were inseparable.
Two peas in a pod.
Until... They weren’t anymore.

When her best friend Meg drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything, so how was there no warning? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, who broke Meg’s heart. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open, until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.

I Was Here is Gayle Forman at her finest, a taut, emotional, and ultimately redemptive story about redefining the meaning of family and finding a way to move forward even in the face of unspeakable loss.
They had met in the first day of Kindergarten and have been inseparable ever since. But since Meg left for college, Cody is starting to realise that not only have they drifted apart, but Meg lived a life that Cody knows nothing about. Meg consumed poison, found lifeless in a motel room, alone. The emails she sent to her parents, the authorities and Cody arrived the day after her body was found, ensuring that she couldn't be revived.
This decision has been a long time coming, she wrote in her note. A long time coming? How long is that? Weeks? Months? Years? I have known Meg since kindergarten. We have been best friends, sisters almost, ever since. How long has this decision been coming without her telling me? And more to the point, why didn't she tell me?
Meg's grief stricken parents cant bear to pack up her meager possessions at the college share house where she boarded, so it's left to Cody to reduce Meg's life to a few measly boxes to bring home. But when she's given Meg's computer that the now infamous suicide note originated from, Cody begins to learn about Meg's new life, new friends and a one night stand that she could never free herself of.

Ben is that one night stand and although he had never intended to hurt Meg, it seems she couldn't bear to be without him. But Meg's issues ran far deeper than the crooning and charismatic guitarist as Cody finds a encrypted file. With the help of Meg's former roommates and Ben, Cody is determined to discover what pushed Meg to suicide and try to mend her own heart in the process.


Once again, Gayle Forman has created yet another heartfelt and emotional contemporary that readers can immerse themselves in. Cody is a small town girl who has just lost her one and only friend. Since Meg moved away to collage, the distance between the two friends has becoming increasingly obvious, until Meg takes her own life and in her grief stricken guilt, Cody needs to know why. Her grief is palpable, her guilt heartbreaking and with the discovery of an encrypted file on Meg's computer, Cody is about to discover why Meg ended it all.

Her search leads to the charismatic Ben, a one night stand that may have ended Meg's life. But it seems Ben is just as touched by grief as Cody, and together they form a tentative partnership to uncover Meg's last steps and finding solace in the process. Although I couldn't personally connect to either Cody or Ben, their romance seemed genuine despite the circumstances in which they've united. Meg's computer is the center of the storyline, holding her secrets and thoughts. The storyline also touches on not only suicide, the grief of those left behind but also the moral dilemma between shared grief and what may be the beginning of a romantic relationship. Personally, after losing someone that is seemingly the center of your world and that person also shared an intimate connection with your prospective love interest? No. Just no. But in the interest of a fictional storyline, it wavered between fascinating and touching.

I adore the dramatics of Gayle Forman's simplistic, yet beautiful style of writing that draws you into the pages. Her heartbreaking storylines always offer hope, and she never fails to mend your heart with her bittersweet conclusions. She's one of my favourite young adult contemporary authors, and I Was Here has only cemented my love for her written words.

21 comments

  1. IS THAT A 4.5? Well now I'm just super excited to crack into this one!

    I'm very interested in this moral exploration into shared grief as a starting point for a romance. That's definitely an interesting topic to explore. I want to see Forman's take on that. She's quite a talented contemporary writer, isn't she? Thanks for the amazing review, Kelly. You're reviews always get me excited about giving things a go! I can't wait to dig into this one :D

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    1. It certainly is Jess. It was really interesting, that although they were both grieving, we see Cody start to develop an attachment to Ben that felt more that she was using him as a crutch than anything. But as awkward as that sounds, it really wasn't. I think I was so wrapped up in what happened to Meg, that the romance had taken a backseat.

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  2. I've got big hopes for this one as her recent work didn't do much for me. Gayle does have an innate talent in ripping her readers' heart to shreds, only to put it back in one piece but in a haphazard way. We're suckers for her books, aren't we?

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    1. She does. She tried to mend your poor heart again, but you still end up with that level of grief or in some cases even frustration. I think she's got remarkably better with each release. I really enjoyed this one, but Just One Day still wins out as it was far more engaging.

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  3. This sounds like such a heart-breaking and sad story, and I'm glad to see you enjoyed it so much Kelly - even if it ripped apart your feels! ;) I've been the black sheep with the Gayle Forman books I've read so far, but I hope this one will affect me the same way it did you. I love how it touches on such intimate issues in such an honest way. Fantastic review Kelly! <3

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    1. I can understand that with her last few, as they all felt pretty similar even though I really enjoyed them. This one is beautifully written, but feels different from her previous releases. My only issue is that I found it hard to fathom Cody and Meg's friendship, it didn't come through as a deep bond, which probably could have been cemented with flashbacks of their time together. Looking forward to seeing what you think of it Zoe.

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  4. I didn't LOVE If I Stay, but this one sounds really, really good (actually, because of the title I thought it might be another companion, but apparently not!). Glad it didn't disappoint. I still have to read Just One Day, too...

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    1. I thought that too at first. I didn't mind If I Stay, but really preferred the second one Where She Went. But better than both those was Just Once Day.

      I'm starting to see a theme with her titles. I'm thinking she can't think of more than three single words to use.

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  5. Amazing review! In total, I've read four Forman novels and apart from one, I've had pretty good success. She's a great writer and this sounds so powerful. I hope to read and review it soon. Maybe by the end of the year! So glad you enjoyed it!

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    1. I think this is my sixth one now Rebecca, I didn't realise that I'd read so many of hers. It's actually up on Netgalley at the moment from Simon & Schuster Australia, so nab a copy soon. I can't wait to see what you think of it.

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  6. I loved the writing buuuut the characters? Nope nope nope. I FEEL VERY CONTRARY. *hides in corner of shame* I just...eh. Cody really bugged me. I mean, I get that she was struggling and dealing with grief in her own way. But she seemed like such a brat most of the time. 0.0 I hated how mean she was to Ben, despite how he'd never done anything to her. And I didn't really understand Cody+Meg's bbf because I never really saw it in the book. But I DO love Gayle Forman's writing style!!

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    1. She's dramatic, without overdoing it. I love how she tackles mature themes, but it never strays into that horrid new adult format either, considering the average age of most of her characters. I can't see how Cody would become annoying, she seen Meg's suicide as something that happened to her, when it only AFFECTED her. I would have loved to have seen more reminiscing to cement their friendship, it needed that emotion to portray how close the two girls were.

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  7. Ahhh, I AM EXCITE. Though I didn't enjoy If I Stay that much, I was instantly a fan of Foreman's writing. And this one looks really good. I'm excited mostly for the romance, the author is just so good with that aspect (I heard) Maybe I'll read Just One Day first while waiting for this one. Great review, Kelly!! :D

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    1. I actually enjoyed Just One Day a little more than this one, I've got a weakness for romantic adventures and the setting was just lovely. I'd start with that one, it's much more lighthearted.

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  8. I AM REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS BOOK. I don't know why, particularly. I read If I Stay and eh, it was okay...haven't read anything else from Forman as yet, but I own Just One Day and Just One Year..I don't know, there's something about the synopsis for this one that just draws me in. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one, Kell. Thank you for the wonderful review. :)

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    1. Start with Just One Day, I loved that one. The adventure and whirlwind romance was just so incredibly charming. I Was Here touches on issues such as the moral indecision of a romance, suicide, depression even. And Cody's mother was virtually non existent and not motherly whatsoever. The ending is surprising though. I hope you enjoy this Ebony.

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  9. I can't wait to read this, since it sounds like such an emotional and poignant contemporary. Gayle Forman has a fantastic reputation for writing novels in this genre, so it's good to hear that you enjoyed this one, which makes me look forward to it even more. Fantastic review Kelly :)

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    1. It really is. It was more than just another heart wrenching contemporary. Gayle Forman has such a way with words that thrust you into the storyline and you can't help but invest. Once you start a Gayle Forman, I've found I need to read them entirely in one sitting. Can't wait to see what you think of it Eugenia.

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  10. Yeah this sounds extremely sad. I'm interested in Cody and Ben's relationship, especially since Ben broke Meg's heart..? I'm glad you really enjoyed this KELLY! I actually haven't read anything by Gayle Forman yet :P I should probably get to that.

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    1. He did. Like Cody, I judged him from the one sided emails that Cody found on Meg's computer. But Ben is so much more than that. Their non relationship between Ben and Meg was only the tip of the iceberg. I can't wait until you read this one, I think you'll really enjoy it.

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  11. I've been seeing a lot of mixed reviews about this one and I think it all falls down to Cody and Ben's relationship. But you made a good point Kelly, and you're right. This is fiction and if Gayle Forman made it work then it should be good. I am definitely putting this on my TBR-list.

    Ella @ The Filipina Booknote

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