Countless

Contains sensitivities such as anorexia

Countless
Written by Karen Gregory
Contemporary, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction
384 Pages
Published June 1st 2017
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia
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★★★★☆
When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name, Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision. She and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it, if she takes it one day at a time.

Heartbreaking and hopeful by turns, Karen Gregory’s debut novel is a story of love, heartache and human resilience. And how the things that matter most can’t be counted. Perfect for fans of Lisa Williamson, Non Pratt and Sarah Crossan.
At seventeen years of age, Hedda is anorexic and living alone in a small, damp apartment with threadbare flooring, without a pension and without parental support. After a one night stand, now discovers she's pregnant. Hedda has spent her teen years unable to maintain control over her body image, resulting in an eating disorder that has consumed Hedda whilst devastating her family. Living within the treatment centre, the predominantly female adolescent residents have attended counselling and while in eagerness to remain thin, become competitive. Then Hedda is released as an out patient.

Hedda is unwell, still unable to come to terms with the disorder but discovering she's expecting a child may have saved her life. At twenty weeks pregnant, abortion isn't an option for Hedda who is considering placing the baby up for adoption, believing she is unable to take responsibility for the new life that will depend on Hedda to remain well. Forcing herself to consume was incredibly confronting. Hedda's narration also explores mental illness although Hedda is never officially diagnosed. She refers to her eating disorder as Nia, allowing her anorexia to consume her as a perpetual and influential presence. Hedda continues to count calories, only allowing herself to consume to maintain the health of her unborn child.

Throughout her pregnancy, Hedda continues counselling as a component of her release. Her relationship with her parents is constrained and while Hedda's father is compassionate, her mother is an authoritarian woman who sees Hedda as a noxious presence, advocating for her accomplished daughter while Hedda is deprived of support. Her derelict apartment is unbefitting for a young mother and child but Hedda's mother is unwilling to allow her daughter to return home.

Robin provides tremendous encouragement to Hedda throughout her pregnancy, nutrition and companionship and considering the confronting nature of Hedda's illness, I appreciated the amicable friendship. Hedda's assistance consists of counsellors who attempt to guide her throughout her recovery and children's welfare, who seemingly cared more for the adoption of her unborn child rather than Hedda's well being and fragility. 

Author Karen Gregory mentions that Countless is a work of fiction but had referenced her own journey within the acknowledgements and should be applauded for a brave and exceptional debut novel. Confronting, captivating and compulsory reading.

22 comments

  1. This sounds like a wonderfully done novel. I have a friend that was barely eating a few years back - she was so skinny! I think she subsisted a lot on energy drinks and cigarettes. She was never diagnosed as anorexic, but another friend and me are fairly positive she was at that point. Anyway, she ended up getting pregnant and we really do think it saved her life because she took care of herself after that.

    -Lauren

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    1. Perhaps the pregnancy was the wake up call that she needed, not that I would advocate unprotected sex. Knowing she now had someone that relied on her to keep well may have also held her to account to look after herself as well. I'm so glad she's well now Lauren.

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  2. This sounds heart wrenching, but I'd love to know how things turn out for Hedda in the end - guess I'll have to read it :-).

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    1. It is Sarah but without spoiling the storyline, the ending won't leave you reaching for the tissues. I think when it comes to such sensitive issues such as eating disorders and when there is a child involved, it's important to let other readers know that the child is never in any danger.

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  3. This sounds heavy. I'm not sure it's for me, but I'm glad that books like this exist; realistic fiction can definitely pack a punch.

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    1. It's typically the most difficult stories that also engage me most as well. I love the realism of young adult contemporaries, even as confronting as they can be at times. Really enjoyed this one.

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  4. Wow, this sounds like a powerful and emotional read. I mean, it sounds really tough but a really well written novel. This immediately made me think of To The Bone on Netflix with the struggle with eating disorders and the very real portrayal of what it's like for many. I'm intrigued by how things went so I may try and get ahold of this book. Great review.

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    1. Thanks Becky. I haven't heard of To The Bone but really intrigued. I've never experienced an eating disorder personally but I can understand the pressure we place upon ourselves to be a certain size or look a certain way. It all feeds into how society places the emphasis on the female body to judge our worth doesn't it.

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  5. oh.. how did she great pregnant? i hope story has a happy ending, all too real for some!

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    1. It was a one night stand. It does Ailyn but the focus is on Hedda's journey really but thankfully I can say that her child was never endangered and although confronting, I think readers will appreciate the honestly.

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  6. The cover is beautiful and grabbed my attention right away but the story sounds powerful as well.

    For What It's Worth

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    1. It's a confronting yet beautiful story of hope and recovery. I think you'll really enjoy this one Karen. Would love to see what you think of it.

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  7. Wow, this sounds like a heavy read. I recently watched To The Bone, and there is a character who is anorexic and pregnant and boy oh boy it was emotionally charged. I mean, the whole movie was, really.
    This is something that kind of hits close with me because I have a family member who has struggled with eating disorders throughout the last about ten years of her life. Luckily, she was never faced with this situation. That sounds so strange to say. Sorry this is quite discombobulated, I know lol.
    I always find these kinds of books very interesting and extremely important as someone who has been affected personally by a similar kind of situation. I am so happy to say that she is doing much better now, but eating disorders, like mental illnesses, are lifelong battles. This author is amazing for being able to write about such a personal story, and I applaud her.
    Thank you for the lovely review!

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    1. I'm so glad she's been able to care for herself and sounds as though she's had a wonderful support network such as yourself, it's probably made such a positive impact on her life. I couldn't agree more. Even though you seek treatment, there's no cure and in the same vain as addiction and mental illness, it becomes a lifelong battle.

      I found Countless incredibly confronting but feel as though I have a greater understanding of the daily fight an eating disorder brings. Compelling reading. Thank you for sharing your experience sweetheart.

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  8. I love the way how Robin supports Hedda throughout her pregnancy! ♡ I'm also a skinny person but not anorexic but in my culture if your skinny your automatically anorexic! :D weird ik! I'll definitely read this one! :)
    Haniya
    booknauthors.blogspot.com

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    1. It's strange how the body image has changed over the centuries. Where being overweight or voluptuous was once a sign of well being and wealth, now in the internet age, people are shamed for not having a desired body type. All bodies are beautiful. Thin, athletic, voluptuous. We as a society need to perceive them differently.

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  9. Sounds like a very realistic look at teenage pregnancy and mental health. I need to recommend this to my mom an buy it for myself! :)

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    1. It's a wonderful read Sarah. I hadn't expected it to have been so realistic and emotional but it truly was brilliant and has stayed with me long after the final page.

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  10. Oh goodness this book. Just as heartbreaking as I thought it would be -- but I didn't realise the author's own experiences were woven into the story too. Thank you for the review, Kelly, I honestly wanted to read it but also knew I had to be in the right frame mind for it./

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    1. It's not as daunting as it sounds but such an important read nonetheless. It's usually the more confronting reads that I seem to enjoy on such a deeper level. Definitely recommending this one for all young adult readers and those touched by eating disorders.

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  11. Wow. This sounds really good. I need to have my own copy soon!

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    1. It's a wonderful read Vanessa, I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

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