Please Don't Hug Me

Please Don't Hug Me
Written by Kay Kerr
Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Australia
288 Pages
Published April 28th 2020
Thank you to Text Publishing
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★★★★★
A funny serious own voices story about what happens when you stop trying to be the person other people expect you to be and give yourself a go.

Erin is looking forward to schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.

But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense.
Please Don't Hug Me is compulsory reading. Narrated from the perspective of seventeen year old Erin as she shares her thoughts in a series of letters to her brother Rudy. Rudy was a popular young man and after a disagreement with his parents, escaped the confines of the family home and the expectations of his parents. Five year old Oliver barely remembers his brother, their mother is consumed by keeping her family together while their father searches for understanding at the local tavern, drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

Erin is an intelligent and incredible young woman, navigating a neurotypical environment from the perspective of a person on the spectrum and sharing her intimate, analytical, and often tumultuous thoughts on life, love, friends, family and autism. Erin begins her correspondence as she prepares to look for casual employment, leaving her previous position feeling misunderstood and underappreciated, resulting in an outburst. For Erin, feeling emotional and overwhelmed are two instances in which her psychologist encourages her to practice being present in the moment, while Erin keeps a secret list of her indiscretions each day to release her tension and as she enters her final year of school, Rudy is missing her important milestones.

Beyond her family, Erin has only confided in two friends of her diagnosis, her best friend since childhood Dee and her boyfriend, the disappointing Mitch. Dee is friendly, created from sunshine and laughter and understands when Erin is feeling overwhelmed, arming herself with doughnuts and waiting on her doorstep. Dee is charming, lighthearted and a young woman also finding her place in the world but her friendship with Erin wasn't always a positive influence on Erin's mental health. Especially at school, allowing her friends to make Erin feel uncomfortable. Her friendship is important to Erin but also restricted her personal growth as she transitioned into adulthood.

As Erin begins in her new position at a clothing store predominantly for seniors, she develops a friendship with Agnus, an Indigenous, Quandamooka young woman, musician and activist who endures depression. Aggie is a wonderful influence on Erin, allowing her to guide their friendship so she feels comfortable, offering support and understanding. In comparison to her friendship with Dee, their friendship signified a new and exciting chapter of life for Erin.

Throughout her letters, we see Erin grow in confidence, learning to care for herself and others and coping mechanisms. Please Don't Hug Me encourages awareness of those on the spectrum, empathy and the mentality from neurotypical society. Observing our environment through the thoughts of Erin was remarkable and profoundly intimate, navigating social situations, employment, her education and friendships and relationships. It was beautiful, poignant and an incredibly important read, as neurological conditions are rarely discussed in young adult literature.

Sincere, unflinching and achingly beautiful, Please Don't Hug Me is an exceptional and remarkable debut.

16 comments

  1. Oh wow, this sounds like a beautiful book. I love that it focuses on a young woman on the spectrum, because it's something so many people deal with, but it can be tough to put yourself in their shoes if you will. Also, I really like that the book format is her writing letters to her brother - I always love a good epistolary novel.

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. It's beautiful Lauren and the format of storytelling felt so incredibly intimate. It's a book I'd recommend to all readers, we need more own voices and characters on the spectrum and Please Don't Hug Me is already one of my favourite reads this year.

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  2. This sounds like such a touching story. What a wonderful debut for Kerr. Is the whole novel told through letters, Kelly? I'm so glad this was such a hit for you!

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    1. The narrative is told completely in letters, it's quite amazing and gives a storyline a very intimate feel.

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  3. This sounds amazing and my weird, subliminal brain thought the title was Please Donut Hug Me lol

    Karen @ For What It's Worth

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    1. I wouldn't be opposed to having a cuddle with a doughnut.

      It's truly amazing Karen, I think you'll really enjoy this one.

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  4. This book sounds really lovely, and you did it again! I have something leaking from my eyes. I love stories like this, that follow something coming into their own. They never fail to touch my heart.

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    1. You'll absolutely love this one, guaranteed. It's so beautifully written and it's wonderful to see characters on the spectrum represented in young adult. I'd love to see what you think of it!

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  5. I love the sound of this one! I just added it to my TBR on Goodreads. I have a feeling it's going to make me cry, but in the best way. <3 Lovely review!

    Lindsi @ Do You Dog-ear? 💬

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    1. It's poignant but so lovely, it's amazing to experience Erin's life through a series of letters to her brother. It's beautifully written, you'll really enjoy this one.

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  6. The path of letters to show Erin's growth is interesting -- and well done from your review. There is so much packed into this novel -- Erin and what she's going through, as well as her family. Wonderful review, Kelly!

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    1. Thanks Verushka. It was an amzing read, incredibly emotional and so tender. Seeing Erin's thoughts through her letters to her brother felt much more personable than Erin narrating her life. I really liked how it spoke about the challenges as a teen entering adulthood foremost, who just happens to be on the spectrum. It was beautiful and an incredible debut.

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  7. You always make books sounds so good in your reviews and this one is no different. I am always curious to read books about people diagnosed on the spectrum, especially female characters as they are diagnosed far less frequently. I think this book sounds like a wonderful journey of growth so I am definitely adding this to my TBR.

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    1. It's brilliant, a book that'll stay with me for a long time to come. We need more young adult novels with characters on the spectrum. I'm a firm believer in education through literature and I don't think I fully realised what being on the spectrum meant for those diagnosed until reading Please Don't Hug Me and the stigma those diagnosed still face. Erin herself, her parents seemingly navigated around using the word autistic and called her autism her challenges. Erin addresses it in her letters to her brother and it was such an intimate insight to see how it was a form of erasure. It's a read I highly recommend to everyone, it's beautiful.

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  8. This sounds fabulous! And a debut as well. Thanks for spotlighting it- I'm definitely going to look for this one and give it a try.

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    1. It's such a beautiful contemporary read and highlights why we need more own voices stories of characters on the spectrum in young adult especially. I hope you enjoy this Greg, would love to see what you think of it!

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