Paperweight By Meg Haston

Contains triggers for those who have experienced, or have been touched by eating disorders.
Paperweight
Written by Meg Haston
Contemporary, Mental Illness
Published July 2nd 2015
285 Pages
Add to Goodreads
RATING ★★★★
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Struggling to deal with her brother's death and a past she refuses to confront, Stevie knows she has problems. But she's still furious about the fact that she's been packed off to a health clinic, in the middle of nowhere, where mobile phones are banned and communication with the outside world is strictly by permission only. The regimented and obtrusive nature of the clinic and its staff is torture to the deeply private, obstinate Stevie, and don't even get her started on the other 'inmates'. All she wants is to be left alone...

But as Stevie is about to find out, life is full of surprises. And she will prove herself stronger than she knows, even when her past finally catches her up in the most shocking and brutal way possible.
Stevie finds herself at a heath retreat in the middle of nowhere, a last ditch attempt to save her life only that Stevie doesn't want to be saved. Her mother abandoned her, her father checked out emotionally and brother and best friend Josh is dead. Stevie is grieving, angry at being sent to the facility for girls with eating disorders and all in the lead up to the first anniversary of Josh's death, something the teen continues to carry the blame for. At the facility, girls are counselled and given the tools to promote a healthy lifestyle, something Stevie has no interest in. All she wants to do is escape and return home to Eden, a toxic friendship of alcoholism and deceit, someone who cares little for Stevie's well being. But to face her truth, Stevie must face the heavy weight of Josh's death and the part she believed she's played.

And realise that through the adversity of Josh's death, Stevie needs to live. For herself and to honour his memory.

MY THOUGHTS

Paperweight is an emotional, difficult and distressing read about a girl who ultimately wants to die. Stevie is bulimic, her weight loss and emotional state landing her at the health clinic with girls who know all too well what it feels like to live with an eating disorder. Her weight is the only aspect in her life that she feels in control of, carrying around the blame of her brothers tragic death in which Stevie survived the accident. The one trait Stevie has is likability, even beyond her abrasive personality and refusal to adhere to the program. But behind the eating disorder lies a troubled girl, a girl who's mother left her for a better life and Eden, a girl who played games with her by building her confidence up in the most destructive of ways.

Reading Stevie's journey was incredibly emotional and at times, distressing, as she comes to terms with the girl she was and the young woman she hopes to become. Stevie's character development was brilliant and one of my favourite aspects of Paperweight. She doesn't change due to a love interest and her growth isn't an overnight phenomenon. Stevie's only chance at recovery comes in the form of the realisation that to die, she isn't honouring Josh's memory but needs to make the most of the life Josh will now never live.

THE VERDICT

Paperweight is an incredibly moving and emotional read of one girl's struggle with addiction, self confidence and feeling worthy of living. It's not the destination, but the story of fight and survival throughout Stevie's journey that will appeal to readers of emotional and realistic fiction. Beautifully written, raw and packs a punch. Really enjoyed it.

35 comments

  1. This book sounds really emotional, and I'm glad to see Stevie makes a lot of progress towards finding confidence and coming to a better place in life. I really want to give this one a try! Lovely review <3

    Rachel @ A Perfection Called Books

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    1. Thanks Rachel. It was incredible, especially her character development. Among the best I've seen this year actually. Really looking forward to seeing your thoughts on it.

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  2. This review is so beautifully written that you're making me want to read a book that I didn't have any intention of reading! <3

    Kim @ Divergent Gryffindor: BLOG || VLOG
    Most recent post: The Book Shelf Tag

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    1. Thanks Kim. It's definitely well worth the read. Really heartfelt and intense.

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  3. I've been really curious about reading Paperweight because I've been seeing it around a lot. I love books that are beautifully written, so I'll have to give this one a try. Great review!
    Krystianna @ Downright Dystopian

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    1. Thanks Krystianna. It's a wonderful read, not only beautiful written, but incredibly realistic and confronting. I loved it, especially seeing Stevie grow as a person.

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  4. Kelly! Firstly, I have missed your bubbly charm and peppy reviews! How are you!?

    Paperweight is something I would most definitely read. Is it strange that I am easily drawn to bleak and distressing narratives? Because I am! I just love how authors write about realistic issues that readers are able to identify with and perhaps find inspiration in. That's one of the main reasons I enjoy reading books at least. Lovely review <3

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    1. I'm awesome Claudia and me too. How have you been?

      I'm drawn to them as well. I think there's something so satisfying about seeing human struggles and being able to overcome their issues, and this book is an incredible example. The author has really done a superb job.

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  5. STAR RATING TWINS. I always new we were twins, Kelly, honest now. And YUS THIS WAS A FABULOUS BOOK. I admit to not liking Stevie...like, at all. But I think that was the point, and her character development was GREAT and I really like how it had a message of hope. :')

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    1. Me too, seeing her character growth was really among the best I've read this year. I think I liked her because you can see that internal struggle with her, wanting to belong and carrying the weight of Josh's death at such a young age. We're totally twinning. People are not going to be able to tell us apart soon.

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  6. Yesss, I felt the same. And Stevie's growth was my favourite part of it. I mean, it broke my heart, but still.

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    1. It was utterly brilliant wasn't it. Even her friendship with her room mate really made her seem to incredibly vulnerable too. Such a powerful read. So glad you really enjoyed it as well.

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  7. Thanks for sharing. I really do like emotional books such as these, that focus so realistically on tough issues.

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    1. And I love how they represent the wider community as well. Young adult is particularly focused on mental illness at the moment, and considering that body image has always been an issue between the media and teens, I love that we can still learn more about the struggle through fiction and it's a starting point for teens to discuss it too.

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  8. Oh man, this sounds like it's going to be a tough read. I have it next on my TBR and I'm just going to have to put my big girl pants on and just get through it.

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    1. Big girl pants and possibly a box of tissues. It's an emotional read, especially if you've known anyone who's been touched by an eating disorder. Looking forward to see what you think of it Jeann.

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  9. Wow... I may need to read this. Thanks x

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    1. I urge everyone to grab a copy of this, even if it's not your usual read. It's incredibly powerful, emotional and raw. Such a major issue not only for teens, but women in general.

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  10. I must confess I don't really know a whole lot about eating disorders, but, damn, this sounds like a real heart-wrenching novel. But I think you may've just convinced me, Kelly. If it's portrayed in a real and honest way -- and from reading your review it sounds like it does.

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    1. It really is. It's heartbreaking seeing Stevie's struggle, because it is so real. But her character development is incredible. Underneath the sadness, there is a real story of hope. You definitely won't be disappointed Kara.

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  11. I loved this as well! Plus the character development, and the fact that the therapist was actually a really cool and good person that knew what she was doing and didn't try to sugar coat the truth!

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    1. Wasn't she just! She was one of my favourite characters too. No matter how Stevie lashed out, she spoke with kindness and truth which is just what Stevie's character needed. I think she played such a big part in her development. So glad you enjoyed this one too poppet.

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  12. I'd like to read this one! It sounds like it's something deep that I would enjoy :)

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    1. It's an incredibly deep and emotional read Frannie, and so beautifully written. It doesn't sugar coat Bulimia, but really shows how it destroys lives. But Stevie is a raw and realistic character that really will speak to so many other there touched by this illness.

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  13. Paperweight sounds like the type of read i'd struggle with emotionally. These sorts of stories always hit me hard, the idea that someone (especially someone so young) could want to die just eats at me. I consider it one of the saddest things ever. I've never read a book before with a character who suffers from bulimia but I have no doubts Paperweight is going to really open me up to the issue. Lovely review.

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    1. It really does Lily. I've never know anyone who is open about having an eating disorder, but it still didn't stop me from investing emotionally in Stevie's story. I think the shock value is that it's so raw, it doesn't present what is essentially an illness as fluff that can be solved with a love interest. It really is one of those reads that has the potentially to change lives and open up eating disorders for discussion.

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  14. "Stevie's character development was brilliant and one of my favourite aspects of Paperweight." THIS. I couldn't agree with your review more. Stevie was the strongest point of this book for me as well, I loved seeing her develop and come to terms with things right before my eyes.

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    1. I really loved her, despite how abrasive she initially was. Her transformation was not only realistic, but one of the most dramatic I've read this year.

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  15. This book is just waiting for me. Your review makes me want to abandon everything and just read tje book :)) Can't wait to start with this one and read Stevie's journey
    I just know that I'll iidentify with her. Great review Kelly <333

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    1. Thanks Paula. It's amazing and incredibly emotional to see Stevie's journey. I can't wait to see what you think of it.

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  16. This sounds really good, lovely review Kelly. I hadn't heard of Paperweight before, but the idea that the main character develops for herself, not out of a relationship, is very appealing. I'll be keeping an eye out for this!
    Michelle @ The Unfinished Bookshelf

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  17. Kelly dear, idk what it is but you just have this ability to sell the SHIT out of a book. & all in a paragraph or two! Send some of your magic this way why don't ya? lol. Paperweight is one of my most anticipated reads of this year. The problem is, I can't find time to read books that I want to read for pleasure, instead I feel bogged down by review copies that haven't been living out to my expectations. But once I knock these arcs out once and for all, Paperweight will be one of the first titles I pick up!

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  18. I just got this on my Kindle and I had no idea it was going to be about eating disorders, but I just loved the cover so much I had to get it! But now I'm so convinced to read it. My next favorite thing to contemporary romances are realistic fiction so I'm definitely not going to miss out on this one! Wonderful review, as always! :D

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  19. This book sounds beautiful! I am a huge fan of books that deal with emotions and illnesses. Plus I also love the sound of the character growth of the MC in this book. I really want to read this book now!
    Wonderful review Kelly!:)

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  20. This sounds soooooo good! I've been meaning to read it for months now and just haven't got to it, but I definitely need to hurry up and get to it.

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